@james I believe this also has to do with a certain element of trust.

Because people are affected differently by disorders, it's often not possible to know if the standards you're holding them to are reasonable or impossible.

Did they not do the thing because they don't care? They're lazy? They're upset? They wanted to but they genuinely find it difficult?
You can't really know, and that means you just need to trust what they're saying to you.

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@zabbeer @james

I find it helpful to eschew the use of "lazy" as a descriptor for people at all. IME, very, very few people are truly lazy as a personality type.

In most cases, and by this I mean the VAST majority, the cause of what's perceived as laziness is a simple difference of opinion as to whether the task whose undone-ness brought on the discussion is in fact important to the intended do-er or not.

That is, if you say to me, "clean your room", and I don't see the point in putting away things I'm using (in some extended sense of using that makes sense to my ADHD brain), I'm probably going to seem lazy to you for not doing it.

From my point of view, I'm being sensible in not wasting my time doing a thing for the sake of doing the thing. I could be using that time to do something I do find important, and probably was.

So I don't call people lazy anymore. Instead I try to figure out why they seem that way to me, and what the disconnect is that's led me to stereotype them as lazy. I find it a lot more effective path to finding motivations for other people to do the things I want them to do.

@cobalt @oldladyplays @zabbeer

There’s also “I don’t want to do it to specifically cause you harm or be mean to you” but that’s also not laziness, that’s just being a twat.

I don’t think laziness is real, either