hello fediverse, I am flausi, a #nonbinary #trans cyborg punk squirrel. I work as an accountant and #amwriting #sciencefiction. I live in berlin, germany and #amreading a lot, at the moment donna #haraway's "staying with the trouble". and I think a lot about living with #trauma, good surviving in capitalism, loving, sex, getting older, #aikido, #queerfashion, networks of solidarity, ecology, #queer #feminism, pictures, everyday magic
Hey there, my two on-demand writing workshops are now pay what you like:
Writing after trauma: self care
https://innerworlds.gumroad.com/l/writingtraumaselfcare
Tools for writing about trauma
https://innerworlds.gumroad.com/l/toolsforwritingtrauma
#WritersOfMastodon #WritingCommunity #Trauma #WritingWorkshop
This has been an emotional past few days, so strap in for some trauma unpacking in—
three...
two...
one...
My ex once told me "people only pay attention to you because you're fuckable". A sentence constructed to stab at a very vulnerable part of my insecurities. It was the sentence that marked the end of our marriage for me.
Growing up, I never really found myself attractive, but it was obvious others did. In highschool—unbeknownst to me—a group of yearbook folx arranged to put me in the yearbook as "most desirable student". In my 20s, I had a drinking problem—largely aided by the fact that when I went to a bar, drinks often just showed up at my table.
As a neglected latchkey kid I liked the attention, I often mistook it for love, and I ended up fucking a lot of people.
Along the way, I learned that people can get pretty mean and/or hurt when you decline sex, and, even when they didn't, there was still the fear that declining sex (or not being "good enough" at it) would lead to their love or affection being withdrawn.
This is all backstory to catch you up to this weekend.
I have a partner; I'll call them "B". B and I have been going out for some months now, and we're quite close. We have an active, and amazing, sex life. In fact, sex is one of our main bonding activities.
I'd never declined sex with them...until this Saturday morning. You see, B had slept over on Friday, and by the time we'd finished watching Lower Decks with my nesting partner, T, we were ready to crash for the night. The following morning, I woke up next to B. Cuddling ensued, things escalated, I went to use the restroom before sex, and in that moment a little voice in my head whispered "...because you're fuckable".
I *wanted* to have sex with B. I *was* turned on—right up until that intrusive thought. But now it was going to eat at me. I knew it wasn't true, but the seed had been planted, and I couldn't disprove it without turning B down, so...I did...and it was hard...and B was visibly disappointed.
We talked as we laid there in bed. I explained as best I could at the time that this wasn't rejection, that it wasn't them, it was me (god that sounds cliché, but it was true), and that I still loved them. We cried and held each other for some time afterwards.
A couple hours later, B's spouse, "D", and their spouse's partner, "V", came over for lunch and movies. B and I were both low energy—still teary-eyed—and B was withdrawn. B sat with D and I, on the verge of tears as we tried to console them, until they left later that evening.
After everyone left, I tried to put on my "everything's fine" face and went out to a show that a friend had invited me to. My spoons were spent and I was feeling vulnerable. Old bar patterns popped back up and, as drinks were offered to me, I accepted. I'm glad no one took advantage of the situation, because I wasn't making good choices. My lovely partner, T, eventually picked me up and got me home safely.
Fast-forward through the next day's hangover, and D texts me to let me know B is spiraling, but doesn't want to reach out for fear of being a burden to me. They must have convinced B to reach out, because I got a text a moment later while I was in the middle of typing out an invitation for B to come over to talk.
B shows up about an hour and a half later. We hug for a long time, then curl up on the couch together to talk. B says they see sex as something that brings us closer and that they were disappointed I had declined it, but mostly they felt like they hadn't been supportive enough in the moment.
So there we were—B afraid they'd let me down, me afraid I'd let B down. B feeling rejected, me thinking B was working up to the "breakup talk"—both expecting love to be withheld; both being wrong.
---
Update: I ended up sending this to B to make sure they thought everything was accurately represented and that they were okay with me posting it.
B responded affirmatively and added that on Saturday they were stuck in their own head—feeling guilty for wanting sex, and worrying that I had felt pressured.
"""
From B: I wish that morning that I had just been able to say, "I'm sorry your brain is being mean to you and the things it's telling you are not true. I do like having sex with you and connecting with you in that way *and* I value you as a whole person. If not having sex with you right now is what you need from me in this moment, that's ok. I still love you. I still want to spend time with you. I'm not going anywhere." And then spent the afternoon just cuddling you.
"""
I feel like starting any relationship talk with a "I love you and I'm not going anywhere" disclaimer (so long as it's true) would go a long ways towards quieting those insecure, and frankly kinda dickish, inner voices we all have.
As I think on this more, I might add follow-up posts.
#mastodonfaistamagie
Y aurait-il parmi voustes des retours sur le somatic experiencing pour lutter contre les traumas ?
J'envisage d'aller voir une praticienne qui a l'air expérimentée mais malgré les témoignages sur le site de l'association francophone, je m'interroge encore.
Je trouve intéressante l'idée de ne pas avoir à ressasser l'origine du traumatisme.
#somaticexperiencing
#trauma
I moved from another server so I will be re-following folks slowly!
Expect to hear about: #lgbtqia #polyamory #disability #mentalHealth #chronicPain #trauma #pets #serviceDog #boardgames #3DPrinting #fdmPrinting #resinPrinting #canada #ontario #ottawa #furry #geeky and more!
You're welcome to say hi and ask me anything!
#Zeitgeschichte wird #bewegt geschrieben. 👯
https://troet.cafe/tags/Zeitgeschichte
#Angst #fear #Angstlos #fearless #Trauma #Traumata #noTrauma #noPain
https://troet.cafe/tags/EndocannabinoidSystem #Cannabis #Hanf
#WokeineAngstmehristdawerdenurnochICHsein #DasSeinbestimmtdasBewusstsein
#KamalaHarris 🙏 https://troet.cafe/tags/wepray 🙏
🙏 #Coldplay #Universe #Universum https://youtu.be/WTC6iJYBAVI 🙏 #wepray
#Ozzy #dream #dreamer #dreaming #Infinity #mother #earth #motherearth #Erde
😎 https://youtu.be/LCCiwPEdEpg 😎
Stop placing complex chronic illness patients on psych holds.
If you don’t know how to treat someone, say so. Don’t tell them it’s all in their head.
Placing patients in the psych ward breaks their trust, sets back their baseline and sends a clear message that they’re not safe in your care.
Medical trauma is real. It maims and kills. Respect our expertise in our bodies. Listen to us and let us be partners in our care.
https://time.com/7206080/long-covid-psychiatric-wards/
#chronicillness #longcovid #mecfs #spoonie #gaslighting #medicalptsd #trauma #disability #ableism
Today is the 46th anniversary of the death of my firstborn son. Here's what I should have learned:
https://philpetree.com/what-i-should-have-learned-from-my-sons-death
"Every night, I sleep through the same nightmare. I hear a roar coming towards me, an increasingly menacing rumour. I don't turn round. I don't need to. I know who's chasing me… I know they have machetes. Somehow, without turning around, I know they have machetes… Sometimes there are my classmates too. I hear their screams when they fall. When they… Now I'm running alone, I know I'm going to fall, I know I'm going to be trampled, I don't want to feel the cold of the blade on my neck, I…
I wake up. I'm in France. The house is silent. My children are asleep in their room.
– Scholastique Mukasonga, in her book "Inyenzi ou les Cafards" (incipit)
#Mukasonga #Rwanda #شهيد, #shaheed #words #witness #France #history #mourning #coloniality #book #racism #genocide #quote #quotes #nightmare #trauma #ethnicCleansing #PTSD
"In the United States we would never dream of operating on anyone without consent, let alone a malnourished and barely conscious 9-year-old girl in septic shock. Nevertheless, when we saw Juri, that’s exactly what we did."
Feroze Sidhwa is a trauma and critical care surgeon who practices in Northern California.
Mark Perlmutter is an orthopedic and hand surgeon who practices in Rocky Mount, North Carolina.
https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2024/07/19/gaza-hospitals-surgeons-00167697 @israel
#health #publicHealth #medicine #medics #surgeons #surgery #hospital #JewishSupremacy #israel #OngoingNakba #revenge #retribution #Gaza #war #warOnGaza #israelGaza #israelGazaWar #ethnicCleansing #warCrimes #PalestinianLivesMatter #genocide #terrorism #counterTerrorism #stateTerrorism #stateViolence #GazaGenocide #StopArmingIsrael #CeasefireNow #StopFundingIsrael #DefundIsrael #GenocideJoe #children #childhood #adultDomination #trauma #practice
If you experienced #trauma in your life or struggle with your #mentalhealth for any reason, Internal Family Systems is a wonderful therapy model that could help you recover & heal.
Come to my #HealYourTrauma webinar on Saturday 11th Feb 2023, Trauma Healing with Internal Family Systems. I hope to see you there!
Sending you love & warm thoughts, whatever you are struggling with right now ❤️
dieser account ist #neuhier, deswegen stelle ich mich kurz vor: hallo, ich bin chris* lawaai, schreibe #ScienceFiction und #UrbanFantasy. dabei beschäftige ich mich in meinem #schreibendenleben oft mit den themen #queerness #gerechtigkeit #trans #nonbinary #anarchie #widerstand #trauma und #überleben.
in meinem letztes jahr im #selfpublishing herausgegebenen bändchen "die geisterjägerin" geht es darum, was von beziehungen bleibt, um erwartungen, wunden, aber auch spaß (und #krähen!).
Hey dude, I haz neurology am shut-in. I used to run an arts business volunteer board of directors do civics ride orange bike all over GrittyCity be friend glamp hard rock shows raves accordion recital thrift make love art openings sticker/flyer bomb drive fly to ‘yerp. Not no more
Fire up some #hash tags #fnd #migraine #ptsd #cpstd #functionalNeurologicDisorder #MMJ #feminist #disability #ChronicPain #ChronicFatigue #Trauma #DisabilityRights #SensoryIssues #Privacy #Hemipeligic #fibromyalgia
Got my new original song “Fine Grind” finished. Tracked two acoustic guitars (one in Nashville high tuning), bass, harp, shaker and my vocal track. Programmed a simple drum track too. Kinda upbeat song is about mental health and rough mornings. #music #songwriting #recording #newmusic #gearsquad #mentalhealth #cptsd #trauma https://youtu.be/X2HhaPbQPD8?si=Adxbnn2gJlxjdLmm
Hi folk, here is my #introduction. I am a #Gestalt psychotherapist from #Slovenia interested in #body and #trauma, an avid conscious dancer, started with #5Rhythms and thoroughly in love with #ContactImprovisation. I used to be a #Buddhist monk and teacher, but that part of my life has faded away lately. Oh, I used to be a computer engineer when I was younger, and still love .net community :)
#Introduction
#SanDiego based bi-coastal #psychiatrist
bird (no current use): @DMRDynamics (politics, clinical; 35K Fs ) @TheRealDocDave (sports #psychiatry)
Insta: @DMRDynamics (personal)
Practice:
#Personality Dynamics #AxisII #Depression #Anxiety #Trauma #PTSD #concussion
#psychotherapy & #psychopharmacology
CA #workerscomp
Many articles, book chapters, quotes re: #psychosocial #sociopolitical issues, TFG - #DangerousCase Ch 8
Staff Psych #AEW - #prowrestling
Consultant: #ConcussionLF
The goal: to have a comprehensive data driven understanding how multi-generational trauma shapes implicit bias in institutions, groups, familes etc and how it intertwines DK in community leaders.
So that we can work together to address these issues together!
Reliable studies or sources
Boost for effect! 🙏
Here’s one below. I’m going through now
https://doi.org/10.3390%2Fijerph19105944
@academicchatter
#psychology
#science
#sociology
#bias
#multigeneration
#trauma
#misinformation
#disinformation
If you have any spare change and want to help me, a woman #disabled by serious #ChronicIllness finally escape the #abuse (#neglect, #manipulation, #CoersiveControl, #PsychologicalViolence, some #PhysicalViolence and threats of worse) I’ve been subjected to for over 10 years:
https://buymeacoffee.com/Halcionandon
or
https://www.beem.com.au (free and anonymous)
username: @halcionandon
Give me hope that this #NewYear will be different. I need it to be.
#Boost please 🙏 Thank you.
@MutualAid @mutual_aid @mutual_aid@gup.pe #MutualAid #MutualAidRequest #NEISvoid #DisabledCrowdfunding #Spoonie #SevereME #pwME #MECFS #LongCovid #Trauma #NarcissisticAbuse
Helpful advice.
Okay, so: Peer Support is a thing.
It's not widely known, and it's IMPORTANT.
A Peer Support Specialist reaches across, not down. Non-hierarchical-- that's literally a requirement spelled out in the job description.
We close the liminal space between "patient" and "well person". We bridge the gap between the person receiving care and their therapist/doctor etc. We're the people you want knocking on the door when you're having a major personal crisis-- you know, instead of the people with guns. We've lived through our own crises/trauma/illness/addiction/etc, and we know how it actually feels.
This isn't just some cute hand-holding role. It's a crucial part of a larger movement to integrate and humanize-- frankly, to TRANSFORM-- healthcare. That's the agenda, straight up. And I even get to fucking SAY THAT out loud.
And how do we enact this subversive scheme? By using empathy to relate to people, while helping empower them to determine and work on their OWN damn recovery goals, without judging.
Trying to "fix" people leads to burnout. Coercion and punishment have diminishing returns-- you can't force anybody to get better by kicking them when they're already down. Stigma has done massive damage. So we slow down, give an actual shit, and walk WITH people while they learn to fish, instead of beating fish over their heads, get it?
How's that for revolutionary.
#praxis
#mentalhealth
#mentalillness
#trauma
#traumainformed
#peersupport
#peergroups
#recovery
#resilience
#supportgroups
#peersupportspecialist
Still catching my breath after reading the Kirkus review of my new book.
"Lombardi’s sprawling novel is an intense, well-observed portrait of a psychiatric patient and the obsessions that slowly undermine her sanity; an engrossing picture of literary sleuthing; a cri de coeur against intimate predations; and a moving depiction of a family torn by ugly secrets. The author’s prose has a vivid immediacy." .@bookstodon @academicchatter #writing #CST #trauma #JamesJoyce
https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/chris-lombardi/blue-season/
I'm an American from Pittsburgh (and Alaska, Washington DC) living in Ireland with my husband. I like exploring the history and the places of natural beauty that surround us here. Finished up MSc Psy with the Open University (Experience of trauma and growth with connection to identity in neurodivergent adults). Now studying Integrative Psychotherapeutic Studies at IICP College in Dublin. I have lived a bunch of lives in my 65 years. Ask me and I'll tell you more. Well met.
#introduction
#Ireland #American #Pittsburgh #Alaska #WashingtonDC #OpenUniversity #trauma #resilience #scifi #history #neolithic #Viking #Celtic #IICP #Psychotherapy #neurodivegence
Feeling nostalgic. 20 years ago this week I was discharged from the #Menninger Clinic where I received inpatient treatment for #depression for two solid months. I learned about #Trauma & #CognitiveBehavioralTherapy, which finally offered an explanation for my woes.
I got more letters of love & support than any other patient, yet I was suicidal in a big way and felt unlovable. We played on the swings, did jigsaw puzzles, and laughed over Bertie Bot's Every Flavor Beans . . .
Fond memories!
Hola compañeros. Here’s my #introduction: My name is Jessica, live in #Ohio, clinical #SocialWorker for nearly 20 yrs along with being an adjunct prof in #SocialWork for almost 10 yrs.
- #Trauma specialist, most of my career has been working with children who have been sexually abused and their families and adult #PersonalityDisorders (I like the extremes). #SocialWelfare & #SocialJustice focus 1/