If you could press a button that dispensed a cookie of any flavor BUT also makes 1 billionaire disappear each time, what flavor would you choose?
@catsalad
I'm disappointed at how few cookies this will produce.
@catsalad reeses peanut butter chip cookies. i'd mash that button so many times. because i love those cookies like nobody's business.
@catsalad sugar cookies, but a specific kind from some chicken dinner event thing. It was big and soft so it was tasty asf.
@catsalad these are (at least here) amazing value for money. I really don't understand how this much cookie costs less per kilo than packages half the size of local stuff that is not really anything special. I'm almost afraid.
Also can we choose which billionaire goes when we press the button?
https://www.griesson-debeukelaer.de/de/en/products/our-brand-griesson/duo-keks/duo-keks-kakao.html
Edited 1d ago
pretty much any flavor as long as a billionaire disappears. how many times can i press the button. happy to share the cookies if i can't eat them all as long as we keep disappearing billionaires.
@catsalad I'll take a few thousand brown sugar cookies please!
@catsalad I’d have to try all of the flavors, I’m afraid.
@catsalad ITT: People picking their favorite cookie instead of doing what's best for humanity. I'll take the damage and go for six bowls worth of Cookie Crisp.
@catsalad Oatmeal raisin. And chocolate chip. And maple cream. And of course peanut butter cookies!
@catsalad the good, old, pre-Entenmann's Freihofer's chocolate chip.
@catsalad Every aspect of cookie quality and performance differs widely within every category. It would be irresponsible to commit to a single choice before obtaining enough samples of each type for scientific rigour and statistical validity, and evaluating them.
@catsalad idc just gonna keep smackin the button till it stops giving cookies
@catsalad What happens to the billionaires‘ fortunes? Will it be invested in even more fantastic cookie machines?
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@catsalad A blondie for EM, a snickerdoodle for JB, something with nuts for SA, something glazed for MZ, prune for RM....
I love oatmeal raisin cookies. It's like my comfort food. :3
@catsalad I would like a cookie the flavor of Cookie Monster Ice Cream, whatever is in that. OK...where is the button now?
@catsalad I would even accept [glutten|fat|sugar] free ones.
I would buy a solenoid and an arduino, 3d print some parts and leave it auto-clicking the button for a whole year...
@catsalad I think I might just be forced to try all the flavours. You know. For science.
@catsalad How many flavors exist in the world? Because I'll have one of each.
@catsalad those little butter cookies from the tin we get at christmas. i can eat A LOT of them
@catsalad The bourbon cream. Something Britain got right. The princess of biscuits, or at least an archduchess.
@catsalad 👉👈 do soda crackers count?
I want to make it as embarrassing as possible for the billionaire
@catsalad
Oatmeal craisin, but only if no one can inherit their wealth.
@catsalad can it dispense raw cookie dough so I can make a lot of tiny cookies?
@catsalad I would choose the one that lets the billionnaire live :'(
@catsalad I avoid junk food semi-religiously but for that, I'd be willing to risk diabetes
@catsalad Surprise me! I’ll keep pressing it to see if there are any flavors I missed.
@catsalad at that point I wouldn't even care for the cookie, LOL.
@catsalad Right now I'm into macadamia shortbread but I'd also go for pfeffernusse or Anzac biscuits.
@catsalad
My question is how many times can I press the button?
@catsalad black and white cookies ....just to piss the billionaire off before they disappear !!
@catsalad Probably chocolate chip, but oatmeal raisin makes a close second.
🏴@catsalad i'd keep smashing that button even if it were "golden" oreos forever.
@catsalad Hang on, it just hit me.
Isn't this literally to "eat the rich"?
oh gosh I'd have to try them all just to be sure. and then do like, a double-blind test.
@catsalad if I pick a different flavor each time I press it, would it make a different billionaire disappear? 
@catsalad Something "mini" so I have to get a lot of them to feel satisfied.
:EA DATA. SF:@catsalad
Via Crumbl.
Chocolate Peanut Butter Brownie ft. REESE'S PIECES
A rich, fudge-y brownie packed with chopped REESE'S PIECES, topped with a swirl of fluffy peanut butter frosting, an extra sprinkle of chopped REESE'S PIECES, and a drizzle of silky milk chocolate.
https://crumblcookies.com/profiles/a445df70-3bd9-11f0-a93b-630bacdd471a:Cookies
Edited 1d ago
These billionaires. They disappear forever?
I mean, I'm fine if they don't, I'll just press the button again. I just have to budget how fast I'm going to have to eat all these lemon sugar cookies.
[Insert bongo cat smashing buttons gif here.]
@catsalad Hmm, what if I like, literally just ate, and don't really want a cookie? Can I skip the cookie and just keep pushing the button?
Snickerdoodles! *presses button like a rat in an experiment offered cocaine*
No time for snacks, I’m pressing buttons…
@catsalad speculaas, I could eat as many as it takes
@catsalad Do I have to eat all of the cookies or can I give them out to other people? Is there a limit on how many times I can hit the button?
@catsalad I don't know what I'm going to do with this thousand cookie assortment I have now.
That's a lie, I know exactly what I'm going to do with it.
Edited 1d ago
@catsalad
Wouldn't even matter, tbh
Click click click clickity click click
Does it produce a different flavor each time? Because I enjoy a 36 ct variety pack.
@catsalad I feel like one cookie per billionaire is kind of a ripoff. We’ll run out.
… can the machine continue with multimillionaires, etc? Or Heirs?
"If you had a button which, every time you pressed it, a billionaire would die ... would you really need any other incentive?"
I can eat a fuckton of snickerdoodles.
So, one fuckton of snickerdoodles please and thank you.
Animal crackers. Thousands of them. I'd be hitting that button like a monkey on crack.
@catsalad I am EXTREMELY fond of white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies. I could eat them by the dozen in one sitting.
@catsalad I can't eat cookies anymore, but I would be delighted to feed every variety to all the children in my neighborhood. Just the smiles on their little faces would melt my cold, hard heart.
@catsalad Oatmeal & raisin
I could eat them all day
@catsalad Does it even matter? I'd hook that button up to my double bass pedal, and rock out until the cookies ran out.
@catsalad <too busy mashing the button to worry about flavour>
@catsalad do *I* get to eat the cookie, or does the cookie do the disappearing? I'm thinking that raisin-cookies-that-look-like-chocolate-chip might have some role to play here.
@catsalad I am pathologically undecided, might have to try them all.
Progress pride flag glazing on all of them though.
Edited 1d ago
@catsalad All of the flavours until we run out of rich bastards.
@catsalad Doesn't matter. I'm spamming that button.
@catsalad I'd get a pretty wide selection of flavors.
@catsalad I'd feel compelled to try several:
• Chocolate chip
• Snickerdoodle
• Sugar
• Chocolate chip
• Snickerdoodle
• Sugar
• Chocolate chip
• Snickerdoodle
• Sugar
And the old favorites:
• Chocolate chip
• Snickerdoodle
• Sugar
Chocolate chip and I'd be pressing that button as fast as possible.
🌬️
@catsalad Tim Tams are cookies, right?
(Not a kind of cookie I can eat any more, but I have friends and co-workers.)
Caramel.
Any cookie with caramel.
...even if they put nuts in it (gross) I'd still take it to disappear the billionaire.
@catsalad Revenge flavoured - sweet and not fattening.
@catsalad snickerdoodle, chocolate chip, monster, black & white, ... I'd keep going until it wouldn't give me anymore cookies.
@catsalad I don't even like cookies and I'd press that sucker until it wore out and donate the proceeds.
Edited 1d ago
@catsalad I don’t think I could pick just one. How many flavors of cookies are there? How many billionaires are there?
@catsalad feed the whole town, any flavour would do
@catsalad there are not so many of them, so you would run out of cookies. Unless there would be more cookies, than billionaires. Billionaires are surprisingly scarce resource, definitely more scarce, then cookies...
@catsalad hard to decide, think I’d have to try a bunch
Whatever it dispensed... I'd eat a cookie filled with rabbit droppings If I needed to... If I was feeling especially sadistic... am oat and raisin wheat crunch.
@catsalad I don't know, there would be so many flavours to choose from... Better taste every option. Twice, if need be :)
@catsalad @electric_gumball no cookie necessary
@catsalad well, all kinds of crap, I guess. Just for the giggles.
@catsalad
ginger snaps!
no wait - chocolate chip,
no wait - . . .
@catsalad i can kind of see why peanut butter cookies aren't widely sold, but i still love them, so
@catsalad I wouldn't make up my mind until the 20th one. (I could go for 1,000s, but after 15, they'd know something is up, and when I confess on the 20th I think the rest would be fine with paying taxes around the world for every satellite office they got.)
Edited 1d ago
@catsalad I would press until the magic button would run out of cookies.
@catsalad I would eat a death-flavored cookie once per minute if it would make a billionaire disappear.
Family recipe sugar cookies or oreos.
But like, I would just keep hitting that button without even eating all the cookies. Cookies for everyone!
