My girlfriend wants me to download Life 360 so we know each other has arrived safely at work and prep dinner when we've left, etc. I'm running out of excuses as I don't want her to know that after work I feed pigeons for half hour as I have no friends.
@fesshole fuck someone wanting that much oversight over your life. Unless you want that, and it sounds like you don't.
Also, feeding pigeons every day sounds awesome.
@fesshole omg person, own it!!! If ur SO doesnt get it.... Thats acutally so fucking awesome and prob best post i have seen in a long time. Take care them pigeons! Humans done been assholes to pigeons. Used, abused and left to fiend for themself.
@fesshole so much to unpack here. Why does your girlfriend want 24/7 tracking of your location? Why do you think feeding pigeons is a terrible thing you must keep secret? Why will nobody just talk to each other?
@fesshole Don't ever let her find out! She's only your girlfriend, after all! 🙄
@fesshole I hate to tell you. But if your girlfriend really is a girl, then as soon as you two became even a little serious, she asked all her friends about you, who asked all of their friends about you...
She's got a mental, and possibly an actual, flowchart of your total social net value. She KNOWS! She knows.
I don't want to spy or be spied on. That said, I would really have appreciated "home in 30" messages, so tea wouldn't be ruined because the person who expected tea the minute they walked in couldn't be arsed telling me they'd be late.