Jon Wood

It's rare, but sometimes the Orange Site is... good?

ALT

@a @SamLR absolutely lost it at that.

@tommorris @jackeric I really wish this weren’t so real. Reminds me of being young and naive at a marketing agency and wanting to properly architect a Facebook app for a well known nappy company.

My boss took me to one side and said “it’s fine; we all know nobody’s actually going to use this thing other than the person who’s buying it”. He wasn’t wrong.

Every marketing email you’ll receive today:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Fuck it. That’ll do.

Latest on the list of overly needy companies is South Western Railway, who’ve taken to asking me to do a *15 minute* survey every time I look in the direction of a train.

@andrew I’ve been watching your van videos and finding them really interesting. I have no intention of building a campervan but it scratches my itch to know how everything ever is done.

Also, it’s slightly odd seeing you without a radio and a look of low level panic on your face.

I regret taking the advice of the great poets Disturbed and getting down with the sickness. It’s nowhere near as cool as they make it sound.

My brother and I have just replaced degrees of Kevin Bacon with hops to the bridge a USS Enterprise. It’s surprisingly quick for most actors.

Putting speakers on phones was a mistake and when I’m elected Benevolent Dictator of the World I will outlaw them. I will also require a headphone jack in their place though, I’m not a monster.

It's 2am, you get a riddle on Signal from a number you've never seen before. You don't reply. By 4am you have an answer and a set of GPS coordinates, a date range, and a size in gigabytes. You wait. You go. You find a single board computer running off of a dingy solar panel; it copies everything to your drive as soon as you insert it. When finished, the machine goes silent. The internal drive wiped.

You're the bearer of the library now. You know your solemn task.

A light in the dark.

#tootfic #minifiction

No, Gemini. I don’t need your help to summarise this one line email.

After the terrible Section 31 Paramount made it up to me by reminding me I hadn’t seen any of Lower Decks past the first season, so I watched it all in two days. It’s a truly lovely thing if you’re the sort of nerd who grew up watching Star Trek.

Despite my better judgement I watched Section 31, the Star Trek film presumably made so Paramount wouldn’t lose the production grants when they cancelled the TV series. It is dire. They compressed the series into 95 minutes of incoherent plotting, characters I couldn’t care less about, and fight scenes which are all at least five minutes too long.

I somehow ended up on a mailing list for video editing plugins and I’m not even mad because now I know you can get an After Effects plugin for adding elephants to your video. $40 for all the elephants you want who can “do almost anything (keeping a profile-view)”.

ALT

Today in ominous commit messages: “Add a confirmation step for fleet actions”

Late to the party on Severance because I dropped it mid-season for several months just before it really started going hard. Now very up for the second season.

“Focus solely on building tech products”. Wouldn’t want to get any filthy politics on your network of services that people use to communicate with each other.
https://mastodon.social/users/counternotions/statuses/113840267575859023

Can we please decide whether timelines go up or down? It’s very confusing when I’m mindlessly flipping between apps half watching TV.

@Sbectol @CatherineFlick they have a choice if forking the software from the last version with a suitable license and maintaining it at their own cost or paying the original author. Seems fine to me, no one is entitled to software their business depends upon free of charge.

they call it printf even though it prints all of the other letters too

Does anyone have advice on regaining control of their personal email? It’s become an unusable pile of marketing emails, endless floods of them drowning out any signal that might be in there.

@robinsyl @jackeric but it’s zero bytes, what could go wrong?

Finally got round to watching Tenet this evening, my head hurts now, and I may have to watch it another twelve times to try and straighten out the timeline.