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Jon Wood

@jon@blankpad.net
695 Posts Posts & Replies 150 Following 64 Followers Search
Jon Wood boosted

The year is 3129. Humanity is extinct. The last LG SmartFridge is desperately emailing its last owner that they are low on orange juice. The satellites that are still left, their orbits slowly decaying over millennia, dutifully relay the message. The automated "away from office" response turns on, as it always does, notifying the refrigerator that it's owner will likely return to the office in 3-5 business days.

Somewhere in what used to be called Ohio, a pack of roombas, their local wind turbines giving out and creaking to a halt, begin searching for the next functional docking station. A washing machine in Argentina tweets: "anyone need to do a load 😏" every Saturday at 1:30 a.m. eastern standard time. The replies are filled with AI thirstposters and their hypebots.

In North America, raccoons have quietly entered the bronze age, while baboons riding domesticated battlewolves rule most of Asia. Unbeknownst to either, the octopi are mastering nuclear fusion. A weather balloon bobs and sways in the upper atmosphere, now almost entirely clear of lingering chloroflourocarbons, reporting conditions to weather stations long since destroyed in World War Five.

The Crab Nation are mostly hermits, but come out to greet their prophet every ten years on the 6th full moon of the year. A lone, curious octopus decides to observe this year's event, peering out at the festivities from her safe haven - the submerged, rusting hulk of an ancient Cybertruck. Then he appears: the hologram of Shia Lebouf powered by MetaAI. He beckons the octopus to follow. The crabs all start chittering excitedly. The time has come to invade Amazon HQ. The crows gather in huge numbers. They need more storage space for their Steam collections.

Jon Wood boosted

@herdingdata I’ve been on a short games with something to say kick lately and loving it. Feels like we’re in a golden age of games being about more than clicking on enemy’s heads.

@herdingdata further recommendations along the story driven games line:

Venba, a game about cooking, and being a child of immigrants. It doesn’t quite hit the mark but got me thinking.

Unpacking, which unexpectedly made me cry. Did not see that coming when I started a game which consists entirely of unpacking boxes after moving.

Botany Manor, in which you play a regency(? maybe Victorian) lady solving puzzles to grow plants in her stately home.

I have once again been struck by an immense sadness that I’m probably never going to space.

@herdingdata also Citizen Sleeper, which I’ve only played a small amount of but keep meaning to go back to when I can approach it like a book at bedtime. Loved what I played but I can’t do visual novels on a TV.

@herdingdata I keep seeing this on Game Pass, might have to give it a go. Given the love of weird slightly dystopian worlds here you may enjoy NORCO (or you might hate it, it’s got a pretty unique set of vibes).

@fesshole unless you work for the Church of England, or a charity campaigning to outlaw porn, this is probably embarrassing but ultimately fine.

If you work for either of those organisations, well, bad luck I guess.

When did companies get so needy, and why? Now up to three emails from South Western Railway begging me to tell them what a good job they did since I went to London last week.

@maartje that’s gorgeous, what display are you using?

@grajohnt new Mission Impossible lead confirmed as Tom Cruise decided he’s too old to do it now.

Every time I think my son has fully dredged the well of irritating YouTubers he finds another one even worse than the others.

ITS STAYING OUT LADS!

This has been your one (1) football post from me until the next major final.

@gsuberland can we go back to delivery drivers being employed by the restaurant please? So many orders where I get the wrong thing or nothing at all and the only option is to get a refund. Unfortunately I can’t eat money.

@CatherineFlick I’m very happy with Monzo, with the caveat that I’ve never needed their customer support, so can’t comment on how good that is.

Jon Wood boosted

You know it’s bad when Goldman Sachs are saying a thing is overhyped and too expensive. Never usually stops them from selling a team of barely qualified people to work with it.
mastodon.social/users/bkastl/s

Jon Wood boosted

“Hey Siri, turn on bedtime”
“Now playing Left Outside Alone by Anastasia”

I really want to know what went wrong to cause this chain of events. I can usually at least find some trace of a reason for the ways in which requests get misinterpreted.

frapol

@james @kestral (no, I don’t know why they can’t just measure things sensibly either)

@james @kestral in the case of US measurements like this its volume being measured rather than weight, so ml is the correct unit.

ukpol

@LilahTovMoon the lights help the packets see where they need to go, meaning they have to spend less time trying to find the router.

@sbisson @CatherineFlick this is such a good move, and gives me a lot of hope for this government. Putting people in place who know about their brief, and have enough experience of it not to throw out glib quick wins.